


On your left

by Trinidad



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: also if you get my title reference comment down below, idk yet, probably gunna be 2 parts, seriously, they just love each other and they dont know it, two love birbs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5335769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trinidad/pseuds/Trinidad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil goes throughout his life falling in love, until the last time it sticks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On your left

The first time I felt it, I was in the third grade. Her name was Alex and she had long brown hair, brown eyes, sun kissed skin, and freckles that spread like constellations.

She trotted up to me on the playground one day asking to play, I was elated! My crush wanted to play with me, how could I say no? Though, my mates had other plans. “Ew cooties, no girls aloud, ugly, smelly, get away, gross,” they shouted at her. Some through dirt at her, others rocks. One even put a wad of his gum in her hair. She ran away crying to the teachers, leaving me enraged and sad and undoubtedly in trouble along with the other boys around me.

She went home early that day, during recess. I left a note in her desk saying I was sorry for what happened. 

The next day she came into class with her hair cut short, smiling bright, and her head held high like she ruled the world. And honestly I would have given it to her if she had asked me to, if it would keep her smiling like that.

 

The second time I felt it, it was my last year in middle school. His name was Carter, he liked sci-fi and dinosaurs and he was undoubtedly one of my best mates at the time. We went everywhere together, the movies, the store, we even walked to school together. We were connected at the hip, we practically lived at each other's house, and we flirted like it was nothing, and I guess it was to him. 

That day Carter and I were at my house watching Buffy, and we somehow ended up laughing into each others laps. After catching our breaths we stopped and looked at each other. His face was so close to mine, so pretty and I could see the shadows his eyelashes left on his cheeks and I could see the scar on his lip that he got when he was younger because he tried to eat a stapler and ended up crying for the rest of the day about it and I kissed him. 

My face heated up, and my lips tingled, and my breath was cut short and I could feel my fingers tingling. He tasted like the sweet popcorn we had earlier and he tasted like the words he yelled at me when he shot back and ran out of my room, out of my house, out of my life.

The following Monday held the words he yelled, it held the pain of his split lip multiplied, and it held the warm thoughts of popcorn flavored lips as I blacked out.

We ended up going to different high schools the following year.

 

The third time I felt it, I was at a Halloween party in college. Everyone was, for some reason, really happy. I guess it had to do with the fact that midterms are coming up in a few weeks and we all just wanted to relax and enjoy ourselves for a little while before we had to pull all nighters and drown ourselves in coffee and red bull. 

There was this girl, Jessica, that I had been talking to for the entirety of my college career dressed as spiderman, clashing with my vampire outfit. We talked all night, got completely drunk, played dumb games with a few friends, and even ended up slow dancing to ‘The Sea of Love.’ Which was really not suited for a Halloween party filled with drunken young adults, but nobody complained so I guess it was alright. 

Imagine that! Spider Man and a vampire slow dancing! It looked like the punch line to a bad joke. But oh man I wish I could describe what she looked like at that moment but she had her mask pulled. Said it would be funnier that way, her voice like honey. 

She smelled like stale vodka and sweat, but so did the rest of the party, her fingers felt like ice sickles on my neck and her arms hung off of me like vines, and everywhere we touched left scorch marks on my skin that no amount of scrubbing could remove. 

We kissed and I swear I saw stars. I commented on her mask and her laughter rang out like a shot through the night and she kissed me again. It was warm, and I couldn't taste her but I bet she tasted of cheap alcohol and it just felt so, so right.

The song ended with her friends rushing to her, gathering her into their arms with promises of more drinks and a better party across town. She left with the promise of tomorrow and a bare kiss on my cheek that left me light headed. 

The morning news was drowned out by crunching tylenol, a hammer in my skull, choked sobs, hurried breaths, a shower run cold, and the broken promise of a tomorrow that would never come.

 

The last time it happened, I was putting up my christmas tree with my friend Dan. We just finished moving into our new apartment and we made it a must to bring in the tree last as to give it the ‘finishing touches,’ as I put it. 

The string of lights had a broken bulb that left the entire thing damaged, so we had to improvise and use our purple bat lights we left out from halloween until the next day when we could go out and buy proper christmas lights.

I remember hanging the ornaments; red one here, green one there, Dan's warm hand brushing mine at times leaving my own hands feeling a little bit warmer. 

I remember him scolding me for dropping one of the red plastic spheres, causing it to shatter; only to have him drop a green one in return and promptly stomp off to grab a broom and dust pan with his hands over his ears on the way to block out my laughing.

I remember watching him throw tinsel on the tree, tongue sticking out in concentration, hair falling into his eyes only to be swept away as quickly as it came.

I remember convincing him to let me put a lion on top of the tree, the only complaint given was a soft ‘Phil’ that left his lips after I stood in awe at my accomplishment.

I remember him wearing a pair of my galaxy socks I got last month, the only reply I got when asking about them was a rushed ‘they’re comfortable’ and a hot mug of coffee pushed under my nose and into my hands.

I remember eating mint cookies and getting crumbs all over the couch. I remember the heat of his thighs under my head and his callous fingers carding absentmindedly through my hair. I remember his body shaking with laughter at what was on t.v. and I remember him pulling the thick christmas themed blanket over us comfortably.

I remember feeling warm and content all over, I remember smiling up at him and him leaning down. I remember drinks gone cold and t.v. turning into background noise.

I remember waking up the next morning with his chest under my head, his breath ghosting across my forehead and his fingers intertwined in mine.

And I remember thinking this is how I want to wake up every Christmas, New Years, Valentine's, and everyday in between from here on out.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of making a Dan version of this, if you would like me to please comment and tell me. You can also leave suggestions on what to put in it if you'd like:)
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated.


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